Oh look. A new Dannoh story. Woopdy-slaggin-doo. But seriously, yall should be celebrating, for a glorious heavenly story has been begun!

With those hilarious chapter headings!

Chapter 1: Not even gonna start with the POVs. You all know. So. Deal with it.Edit

I grip the hilt of the energy sword on my belt. Before me stands a standard, UNSC training droid. I stand in the hangar of the UNSC Philadelphia, being watched by my squad, my friends, and random strangers. The last step in my energy sword training.

It's been about a month since I managed to steal my custom energy sword, nicknamed Pulse, and battled to the death with a Ship Master elite.

Hunter, our Squad's technician, starts the countdown. The droid and I activate our energy swords.

The gong sounds and I charge.

One thought goes through my head, the advice I was given before the challenge. This droid is virtually unbeatable.


Chapter 2: And yes, these headings are hilarious, Nikki. Everyone laughs.Edit

I close the gap between us in seconds. I jump into the air and dodge his first strike. I land behind him, perfectly ready to cut him down. The droids torso does a complete 180 spin and it slices at my face.

The edges of my vision blur away, in this moment, only me and the droid exist. I catch bits of a startled soldier yelling at us, "INBOUND SLIPSPACE VECTOR! BATTLE STATIONS EVERYONE!"

I snap out of my fighting stance. The world comes into sharp focus. The droid deactivates it's sword and goes into defensive stance.

"Training droid TK421 in battle position, awaiting orders Spartan-712," it says, unslinging an assault rifle.

"Defend from boarding parties, assist me and the rest of Squad 403," I say, making sure my DMR is fully loaded. I see the rest of my squad pull into position to repel boarders.

I see Caden-1105 load his rocket launcher. Out of the corner of my eye, I see AK climbing into the rafters, getting into a sniping position. Skye dashes off to join the fighter squadrons. Nikki unclips an SMG and a plasma rifle, her signature weapons, from her belt. Ryan pumps his shotgun. Hunter desparetly attempts to close the blast doors.

But it's not in time. A phantom plows into the open hangar. Out of it pour about 5 or 6 zealot elites.

"403, bring em down," I say into the com. And that's when we all fire.

Chapter 3: Have you ever noticed how I'm the only one who does chapter headings like this? Weird.Edit

The Zealots seem to have us even matched. The obvious leader charges at me with an energy sword. Me and the Training droid still have our blades ready, so We charge to meet it.

The zealot rolls under the training droids legs and slices it evenly in half, bringing it down it one hit. I attempt to stab him in the chest but he retreats. Suddenly a huge force slams into my back. Later I would learn that a zealot had fired a beam rifle into my spine. If I hadn't had my armor on, I would've died. It charges forward and raises the large sniper to crush my skull.

All of a sudden, it's shields falter slightly, then again, and finally another shot brings it down. I try to figure out how it happened, when I see AK reloading his sniper rifle from the rafters. I'm not the only one, as a fuel-rod cannon toting Zealot fires on AK. The blast doesn't hit him, but it knocks him off his perch and he slams into the floor with a load THUNK.

I don't have time to thank him, as I notice the same Zealot is firing on Nikki and Ryan, who desparately fire their weapons in vain. I dive into the zealots back, and I activate Pulse. The yellow blade stabs straight through the now defenseless elite.

Caden and Hunter battle the lead Zealot. Hunter empties his rifle into it's shields with no effect. The Zealot slices through the gun like butter. Hunter grabs his pistol and continues firing, only to be thrown into a wall. Caden, who has lost both his guns, takes the Zealot on hand to hand. Or, hand to sword, that is. Yeah, not a good idea. The elite spins and punches him in the face so hard his visor cracks. He crumples to ground, unconsious.

I'm about to run and help when the other two zealots grab my arms. One of them restrains me, and the other walks around and faces me.

Translation software allows me to understand his words, which roughly say, "Puny Demon, We shall kill you and bring you to the Ascetic as a trophy,"

The Ascetic. So that's why the ship is under attack, why they are infiltrating us. Why all this crap has happened the past few weeks. Anger burns through, mostly at the thought of the Ascetic striking down Will.

The Zealot slaps me. Hard. Then he brings his plasma rifle right next to my face. "Do you fear death, Demon?" it says menacingly.

Chapter...Okay, no more of this "Chapter" stuff, THIS IS THE NEXT PART Edit

I brace myself to have my head ripped off. There was no surviving this. He repeats his question.

"Do you fear the cold dark torment that awaits you?" he asks, "You are not worthy to walk the blessed path of the forerunners!"

He's about to fire when a black wall slams into him. Suddenly, Ryan is sitting on the zealots chest, pumping one, two, three shells into it's face. He stands up and kicks the elites body, "Do you?"

The zealot pinning my arms doesn't have time to react. I spin out of his grip and activate Pulse. He's reaching for his weapon when my blade pierces his heart. The lead zealot is now at my side. He grabs my arm and slaps some kind of restraint on it.

"You," he spits, "Are coming with me,"

He presses an small button on an identical band on his own wrist. I feel like someone pulls my insides, chops them up and puts them back in, and I'm in a covie cruiser. Before me stands the Ascetic.

"Amazing technology," he says, "Teleportation. It took me forever to understand the physics."

"I think you could fix it a bit," I say, a little nauseous.

He shrugs, "There is some discomfort, I agree. But I swear you shan't have to worry about it much longer, Demon."

He advances towards me, blade in hand.

The next partEdit

The lead zealot holds me down as the Ascetic inches forward. Then he dashes forward and strikes. I managed to free myself from the zealot a few seconds ago, so I jump straight into the air. The Ascetic's blade finds itself embedded in the zealot's chest.

"My lord, how could you?" he begs. The Ascetic simply tosses his corpse aside and turns to face me. I activate Pulse. The yellow glow dances off his eys.

"You do not deserve to wield a holy blade," he says angrily.

"Well, I am, so, deal with it," I retort. Then I dash forward and slice Pulse across his chest. He doesn't even react, he falls straight onto the ground.

I bring up my blade for the finishing stroke. He cries out.

"Pleeease!" he begs, "Have MERCY!"

"You....are without mercy, then beg for it?" I say, "I thought elites were made of sterner stuff."

Then it hits me. They are. He smiles at me, which looks odd because of his four jaws. He pulls a plamsa pistol off his belt and shoots me in the face. The blast doesn't hurt me, just suprises me enough for him to activate a plasma grenade, stick it to my face, and teleport out.

And I'm left with an empty room, and three seconds to live.

(Author's Note: Subtle Transformers the Movie (1986) reference in this chapter, SEE IF YOU CAN FIND IT)

The next next partEdit

I scramble back. About a million different cuss words escape from my mouth. But one thought keeps me alive: Get rid of the sticky. I mentally pop the seal connecting my helmet to my body and throw it off. The blast throws it across the room. I walk over and pick it up, useless. It's completely broken.

Now the question is, how do I traverse space and get back to my ship, without a pressurized helmet?

Then my eyes catch the dead zealot on the ground. And the teleportation bracelet on his wrist. I run over and unclasp it. I attach it to my wrist. I start tapping in commands, hoping something will work. A type of menu showing last used coordinates pops up. The last teleportation it used was obviously from the Philadelphia to here, so I click the "teleported from" coordinates. There's the awful sensation, and there I am in the hangar of the Philadelphia.

Only two zealots are still fighting, but they're putting up a good fight. Ak is still unconsious. Caden appears to be passed out as well. Ryan desparatley holds off a zealot that holds two energy swords. Hunter and Nikki are taking on.....taking on....The Ascetic.

That's where he teleported to. Here. He calmly tosses Nikki over his shoulder and slices Hunter across the stomach. The wound begins to bleed. Hunter grabs his stomach and falls over.

I scream and activate Pulse. The Ascetic turns toward me.

"You. And me," I practically scream.

"Will oblige," he says.