Raniero is right. With our founder inactive, and many of our admins inactive some of us just rather not get on. But yes, you can still upload stories and if someone were to drop by once in a while (like me) I usually read them and comment! But we do have 500 plus stories so feel free to browse!
Chap done! I left it open a lot because I not sure if you had something planned for the girls and I didn't want to screw it up.
In future if you have a plan you don't want me to mess up. Just message me and say "don't write about blah blah".
But, If it is going to be... Yeah, just try to keep it as non graphic as possible.
And don't worry, I'm a fluid writer and can build off of anything, good chapter. Really enjoyed the character descriptive because I was having trouble with that. And remember, Renzo has a multiple personality disorder, one seconded he'll be calm and collected, the other on the brink of rage and insanity; easily switching between the two in a heartbeat. Keep that in mind when you write for him, makes you think harder.
Ahh! Im glad you did. I wasn't sure If I was over stepping my bounds writing what he looked like. But that's how my mind works. I need to get a handle on how characters come of to other ones in the story to be able to get in there mind, so I just had to write it.
Yeah sorry, I like said, I was focusing more on the actually Setting up the story here. Sorry, i will try and match his.... Erratic ways.
really? I thought it was crap. Yeah, I'm tying to display both personailty's clearly. Nothing thinking much about the storyline. I guess i should be. Its just your charachter is so Fascinatin. Im quite caught up in writing him. But ill try and steer the story right.
But for now, you should have fun messing with the boys.
If you could, i would like to write a secne with me and the boys. So, if in your next chap could you not mention where you take them at the end? Because i will right it so that they end up with us. If thats okay. But feel free to do what you like with them.
My toes were tensed the entire time! Ahh. Such a good chap!! Gives me a lot or work with. I loved that your character used Leah. Such a good power play. Hinting to the reader Daniels devotion, and renzos effortless intelligence.
I think I couldddd write one tonight. I'll try anyways. I might just get half done. But I'll message you none the less when it's done.
TS soooo big sorry! But I didn't relize how big it was until I was done. There is a scene in there with Renzo you might be confused with. I left it open because I thought there is a few possibility a as to why he is keeping her protected. If you don't come up with a brilliant idea, I have a few.
Let me know. I'm realllyyyy looking forward to your next chap!! Let me know what you think of it to!
I did have an idea, but it would be good for you to share yours so I can get a feel of the next chapter?
Like the part with James, I was thinking of decking him in this chapter though... maybe I'll have Renz do it again. Anyway, I want to build off the Wakamanga arc a little sometime. If you remember from the old story, they were cannibals and AK found them in his chapter, even named them with their hideous but appropriate name.
The story of Atlas was fitting, and I might react with the story of Sisyphus...
This chapter will be heavily Renzo and the Nostra Pirate based, and I was thinking... maybe that chopper AK called in on the first story... maybe he comes..
Well, i was just thinking that (Seems as i am one of the two main charachters) my postion becomes important for some reason. Perhaps my father is some kind fo high end political leader. And my mother the physcoligist for the president or something. And because i was raised in that envioment (And i have a odd weirdo attraction to you in the story) you try and get me to join your clan. But not for a few chaps. I mean like a lot. Cazue, i really want to set Leah's relationship with tyrone. And i want to set your actions in firmly.
Yeah, i was thinking with the cannibals. Why dont you make it like a regualr game you play with everyone. it becomes like capture the flag. Except, capture the hostages. And each week you just release us, and capture us again. idk. But somehow you could intertwine the Cannbals....
Yeah, get all of them together and feel free to just go ahead with whatever. I can roll with really anything. I just really wanna set Leah and Tyrone and work out how leah feels about Renzo. And maybe you could write how he feels about her (Not that he has to like her or anything. Just how he feels about her in general)
You need to give yourself more credit my man, you are the most talent writer on this website. Don't doubt that.
That was one brilliant a** chapter. I don't really know how you can top that... There's a challenge for you.
Well I was planning to go to bed, but, now there is ideas swimming around it my head. I think I'll take a shower to think, then I'll get to the keyboard. I might post it tonight, or maybe tomorrow. We will see.
Thank you, for that last bit, leaves me with something. And idea, anyways.
Haha, oops, ummm Nikki, your good in diffrent ways *cowers*
Hey, I'm writing the chapter, it will be a while before it's up but ahh... It's exceptionally long. By that I mean probably the lengths one one chaoter in a novel. There is just a lot I want to get said and it's hard to do it quick but also no compromise the story.
Is that alright or would you not prefer it big? (that's what she said)
Well biggest chapter I have ever posted is up! I left the next part open for you.
If your spidy senses are tingling by now, you might detect I've set a few little hints here and there that your character is setting something up. I have an idea as to what he could be planing for Leah, but if you once feel free to use it. But if you want an idea you know where to find me.
I'm setting up Tyrone and Leah a but more now. Still have a slight to go. And leans weirdo sicko attraction to Renzo is starting to shine though a bit, so your welcome to play on that a bit to. Or not. Doesn't matter.
I haven't finished the chapter yet, (you were right, it was a long one!) but I gotta say. The choosing of Renzo for the team? *Mimics kissing fingertips like an Italian chef* Bellissimo! Couldn't have done it better, the gleefulness of his figure capture perfectly. You're really doing it huh? Writing Renzo as intended, better even, ooh I love it!
And, haha, oh you liked it! I didnt actually plan to have him do that, but as i was about to post it i was like.. Ahh. Just gotta throw it in there...Really!! Im so glad i can write him. I gotta say that charchter page really helped frame him. Good thinking. You must almost be done if your up to that part.
But I liked it alot, buuuuut now you introduced some new characters. And I'm very descriptive when it comes to people, especially since they are affiliated with Renz. I will run with it though, no biggie.
'No body said it was easy. It's such a shame for us to part."
That doesn't rhyme yet it's one of the greatest songs ever.
I think what matters the most in a poem is that you can affect someone emotionally using a minimal amount of words, they convey a whole lot.
I think the point of rhyming is mostly so it has and impact on people memory. So that they remember it more. But, if you write one that's emotional enough, one that impacts someone's lives. They will remember it anyways.
Just remember not to loose the point of the poem for the simple task of rhyming.
Oh that sounds so cool! I hope you enjoy yourself!!
Sure ill send a few though your email.
(OMG im so excited to watch the new xmen)
Wait, she as in her? The poem? Ahh!!! Omgooodnessssss. Let me know how it goes yeah? I feel like I know her just from your poem that's how good it is. Pleaseeeeeeeee so,show tell me how it goes.
If you haven't got it yet, Leah reminds Renzo of his sister Elise. This is just because of his split personality. I haven't decided what to do with this arc, but its a sideline. Oh, and she was taken by tribals as a kid, it was Renz's fault.
AK will, now. If ol Tyrone would want a shot. If not, well... I guess you would have to do another as Leah to balance out the system, but It could cut back into renz after ty? Whatever... let me read this chapter then sleep
Ahha, really? I thought it was inventible and I just couldn't wait in suspense no more. Hah
I worked around thirty minutes before being happy with that. It was a very well planned out Couple paragraphs. (Well.. We all gotta find inspiration from somewhere right?)
Well, that is all to be explained. I'm planning a massive blow out scene with them at some point, and I needed that line in here for Renzo to bring it up later, so. Yeah...
Thank you, really enjoy the feedback it. I'll try and comment on your chaps more like you did often. I really do appreciate your writing, I always sit at the edge of my seat and read it though about six times before even starting the new chap. Also so intricate and have so many different thoughts to dwell on. Your truly talented my friend.
Now sleep! (Try not to think about the kiss to much)
I knew it, that was just to descriptive to be a once over, and I don't know about you -being a girl and all- but I got a little... how do I say this without being banned for three days... flustered? Yeah.
I sleep now, might have a good dream this time, who knows?
Ha, you may say whatever you like on here. We allow swearing and... deep, descriptions... On the wiki. Just not when they are set out to intentionally hurt or offend a user... ( and I would agree with you. Even tho "Im a girl and all" Shh.)
Ha! Im glad, always nice to hear your writing has an impact on a fellow writer...no matter what sort of "Impact" That may be.
Raniero R wrote: AK will, now. If ol Tyrone would want a shot. If not, well... I guess you would have to do another as Leah to balance out the system, but It could cut back into renz after ty? Whatever... let me read this chapter then sleep
I dont even think it was that. Truthfully ive hd alot on my mind and whatever i have left inspiration wise is reserved for a new story i've been writing and thinking though.
i actually spent about four hours on that lost chap. ive been sick so i had the day off. I swear i wrote abut 12 diffrent chapters, each was worse then the last. tried about 14 diffrent intros. So i just went with that one. I was getting to frustrated.
Well, i left it that Renzo is having a celebration for Leah.. The winner.
So, how would renzo go about that? Will there be more singing? Will there be dancing? What will be his attitude towards Leah after the kiss? How would leah be like around him? Does renzo want to take her back to his bunker? How will renzo act when He sees Tyone and leah together? What will Daniels punishment be for loosing? How is Renzo doing with this new found respect that his men have for Leah? Will he offer Leah to be the new tribe leader with him?
So so so so, IIIIII read your lovely comment that the story (Lost) Was your fav on the wiki!
Since ive spoken to everyone in extent about this, they all dont wanna restart it\renew it whatever. Would youuuuuu Like to do tha with me? I know you like it, and i know your a good writer, and like you. I really do love this story, so would you like to do it with me?
It would proabably mean starting it again... But, if your willing to, i am.
Raniero, you have been demoted from administrator to chat moderator status. If you would like more info, contact myself or Skye, and we'd happily provide details. However, we don't wish to list them here, for the sake of your privacy, have a nice day.