Red splotches cover my face when I look in the mirror. My eyes can’t produce enough tears to express my sadness right now. I’m ugly as a rat. I can sing as well as a pelican. I’m fatter than an elephant. People have said so. This morning my sister told me I have to wax my eyebrows and shave my legs. Around five minutes later, I was practicing my singing for chorus, and my mom came in, covered her ears, and asked what “that noise” was. At school when I change for gym, people stare at me and say, do you play any sports or do you just sit around and eat pizza while watching TV. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t live like this. Everyone else has a boyfriend, or is at least dating. Me, I’m fantasizing about my relationship-to-be with Andrew. It’s not actually going to happen, but I can dream right? Nobody can stop me from dreaming, I’ve always known that, but now when I see myself in the mirror, I’m not so sure.
“Lovisa! Can you come down here for a second?” My dad calls from the living room. He’s the only one who understands. Or, at least doesn’t insult me.
“I’ll be there in a minute!” I call back. I cover my tear stains with makeup so he won’t know that I’ve been crying. I unlock the white bathroom door and walk out. I hurry down the cherry wood stairs and find my dad sitting at the dinner table.
“Have a seat.” He says, so I sit. “Your mother and I have been arguing very much lately and have reached a decision.” Uh-oh. That is not good. “We are getting a divorce. She will be staying here while I am moving to New York City. This is important because you will be deciding who you will live with.” I can’t speak. I have to choose who I love more? I can’t believe I’m saying this but it was an easy decision. I have nothing here. And my mom doesn’t love me.
“Dad, don’t tell mom it was this easy. I’m going with you.” I say in a strong, clear voice. Then I run over to him at the other end of the table and hug him. My tears drip down on his t-shirt as I stay there in his arms.
“I love you.” He tells me. “ You are beautiful. You are talented. You are strong, and don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.” I will always remember those words.
Sat. March 16- Moving dayEdit
Today I will be moving to New York with my dad. We are taking an airplane for the fisrt time! It going to be so fun! I can't wait to see the world from up high! Now, I am in the taxi on my way to the airport. All of our belongings have already been flown into New York and are waiting for us in our new apartment. The trees and buildings rush past my window as the taxi speedes across the highway. Our flight leaves in half an hour so we have to be fast. Finally, after what seems like eternity, we stop at the airport. We rush in, suitcases in hand, and line up in the check-in line. When finally it is our turn, the lady looks up at us with a fake smile.
"Where are you going?" She asks with fake enthusiasm in her voice.
"New York." My dad answers.
"How many bags?"
"Just one." And witht that, he takes his bag and puts it on the scale. The lady with the fake smile then puts a tag on it and lays it on the rolling band.
"Your flight leaves in twenty minutes. Have a nice day!" She says with the same fake enthusiasm as before. We walk away and line up in the safty check line when my phone beeps. I got a text from one of the bullies in school. It reads: Heard you were moving l'ittle bitch! Where to?
I shut it off just before my dad sees the text. I've never told anyone about my bullying situation, though I'm pretty sure one of my parents have guessed by now. Now we are at the front of the line, and we go through the saftey check when I see someone. It's my mom.