So I was kinda thinking today during the rest between some state testing, so I kinda thought up a story. Well, not really, thought up. I kinda. just took my life and put it into a story. So I decided to put my thoughts down on screen.
Chapter, oh forget chapters. Imma use this one heading. cause. It's coolEdit
I set down my booklet and lean my head back. That's reading done. Now I just wait, ugh, 20 minutes til we can start the last part, science. My class is taking the Explorer Test for carriers or whatever. We're supposed to recheck our answers once we're done, but I can never do that kind of crap. My mind wanders. To the room, the word "Swag" someone engraved in the table with an eraser. And of course, the girl right next to me.
Oh where do I even START. I'm completely head over heels for this girl. We're close friends. Kind of awkward talking to her though. Seeing as how, a week, or was it two weeks? I don't remember. But long story short. I asked her out. Annnnd she said no. And I somehow managed to tick her off, completely ruining what friendship we actually had.
I feel bad. but luckily she seemed okay to patch up our friendship. We've talked a few times, to pass time. But it just feels so tense between us. Isn't it strange? How when you were completely alone with your thoughts, you think about all the things you've done wrong? Things you wish you could change. I wish I could've asked her out in person, rather than through instant messaging. Stupid of me right?
And of course I'm stuck sitting right next to her. The guy in front of me wanted to be able to chat with his friend, so I had to move back. Right next to her. Gosh. I feel awful. Every time I see her, she's even more stunning than before. She's just a good person to be around, she can make friends with just about anyone. Even me, the socially awkward loser kid.
Even though I know there is not a chance in the world for me, I still want to keep trying. I have no idea. I feel like I can't really get over her without hearing it from her in person. I'm still pondering how the heck I can do it when the teacher speaks up.
"Alright class, it's time to do the next portion of the test, turn to the Science portion and begin, you have thirty minutes."
And with that, my thoughts are put aside and I get back to work.
I walk into the school, feeling less bleh than other days. Why? Cause It's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on- you get the picture. It's Friday. I sit down in my usual seat. Everything seems fine, I got a good nights sleep, JUST KIDDING! The internet never lets me sleep, (yes wiki friends, I'm looking at you), but otherwise I'm having a relatively good day.
And then she walks in. Miss Beautiful herself. I swear, whenever I see her, it's like a punch to the face. It just stuns me for a second. She's wearing a dress with a jacket over it. A simple enough outfit, but she still looks absolutely amazing. She walks in and takes her seat, directly behind me.
Yeah. It's pretty awkward between us. I wonder if she realizes that I can't stop thinking about her, even though I know there's no chance for us. Most likely, I'm not exactly, discreet. Not that I'm stumbling around all "LET ME LOVE YOU!"
It's more of, you can see it in my eyes I guess. I'm absolutely helpless. I'm always trying to start some kind of conversation, but 8/10 times, it doesn't work out. We discuss school work mostly, We talk until class starts about our reading project, how we're both extremely glad it's over.
Pathetic, right? Yeah kinda. Every time I get a chance to speak with her, I just, I lose my ability to speak. And I get lot's of chances to speak with her. I tried asking my friend for advice, and he always says "Talking is easy."
Yeah, like he knows anything. He doesn't have much experience in the relationship department, but for some reason he gives great advice. But as to lately, not so much. Talking to this girl is definitely NOT easy.
So, the day goes on. I try to tell her I still like her, but fail. At least, hmm, let me think, 5 times. I'm a wreck. A hopeless. Lonely wreck. And then we're out of school suddenly, and it's the weekend, and I have failed. Again.
For now, the story is finished, more details will be delivered when they become available. Maybe.